October 19, 2010
The Government began embarking on what it terms as the Helpful Citizen Act campaign (1). The following is the first in a series of additional Laws and future Amendments to the Constitution (2) in which all Americans will have their General Welfare aided and protected.
Over concerns of issues to citizens that before health care must be the basic necessities of life, the Federal Government has embarked upon ways to correct with all due speed and process the short comings of Healthcare. The Health Care Bill passed under great duress and opposition has been found to be negligent and therefore must have the benefit of further legislation to bring it in line with current sentiment. Certainly, before Health Care, there are many items that must be addressed and provided legislation to enact so that each and every citizen can be brought to have what they need.
In a recent study on just what citizens need in order to survive, a congressional delegation was given the task of understanding just what people require. In a 869 page report out of the Department of Goodness and Kindness (3), it was determined that people need: water, food, shelter and jobs. To address these major concerns and needs of the constituents, Congress has set forth on a monumental directive leading up to the Humanity of Social Awareness Act (4).
To meet these mandates put forth in this comprehensive study, Congress moved swiftly to complete the first of the series.
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Congress recently passed a law, the Hydration of Muscle Tissue and Cell Growth Conservation Act, that forces each and every citizen to buy water. Failure to buy water will result in a fine commensurate with the person's body mass index in accordance with Federal Guideline (HR653 - yet to be written or named (5)) determining how much a person should drink a day.
Water is important. You are made of mostly water. Your tissues, your muscles, your brain, everything has a component of water; you need it to survive. You can go for a long time without food, but not water. Therefore, water has been deemed important and therefore a natural resource. As such, people need to be instructed on buying, drinking and how much to drink. (6)
In an effort to Federalize what will become known as the How Best to Help People series of directives, the Government is mandating that people buy water. The secondary hope is that people will drink the water but as of yet, this is not part of the bill. Details and preliminary concepts of how best to determine if a citizen has been drinking the water they bought are being discussed with the concept of ID tags capable of determining flow rates through a person's throat. In an act to not invade a person's privacy, opponents have said that these devices should not be able to determine what the liquid is, just that a liquid is being passed in a given amount.
This new law will take effect in the 2014 year cycle and will begin with guidelines of how much water should be bought on a weekly basis. There will also be a secondary sub-committee to determine values if need be on a monthly and quarterly basis. 6 month and 1 year planning guidelines were scrapped after a study showing that buying in 6 month cycles did not show enough control in determining buying habits and would not "boost" the economy in the near term, being labeled "drinkable ready" commerce.
Ground has been broken on the Department Goodness and Kindness new building. Until then, they will share space with the Pentagon, in the 3rd ring, where due to recent Military cut backs, extra office space is available and for rent. The CBO determined that by renting this space, the taxpayer will save on average $56 million per year.
Nancy Pelosi made a brief statement following passage in the House. “With this bill we can better achieve the beginnings of a healthier citizen. We can help “the people” on how to drink, how much to drink and when best to drink. We will add to this in the future with food, shelter and jobs. This bill also will allow Congress to go after the evil “Big Water” proponents and their businesses in new ways. American’s resources will no longer be plundered for profit by “Big Water”, but will be returned to the people. It is a great day in America’s progress towards better people.”
(1): Helpful Citizen Act campaign - of 2010
(2): the Constitution of the Untited States - no documentation could be found in Congress at the time of printing.
(3): the Department of Goodness and Kindness was created in 2010 under the guise of a political PAC desinged to build the perfect Democratic voter.
(4): Humanity of Social Awareness Act - designed in part to make people aware that they should infact buy and drink water as best described and handled by the Federal Government.
(5): Names and suggestions can be e-mailed at: http://www.youcantbeseriouslymissingtheideaofthegovernmenttellingyouwhattobuy/?.com
(6): At the time of print, facts on water could not be verified but every one in the committee was certain that people needed it.
And I suppose you right wing nut jobs just want to let people flounder at the mercy of big water! For years we have been held captive to the big water cabal that maintained its power by dumping money into Republican candidates that let the big water monopoly control the most vital resource. We have proven with health care that if people need something it should be given to them and the people providing it must do that at no or little profit. It is time the government takes down these big water fat cats that are profiting from our needs!
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